widdleplop

It's taken me forty years to do it, and this might seem quite unbelievable considering my track record, but I have. Yes, that's right - I've had an Indian.

Not in the sexual way, no, no, no - that's way too coarse and private to talk about on here. No, I mean "Indian" of the takeaway food type.

It was Jayne's idea, obviously, I mean can you see me suggesting it? Because, I'm very close minded when it comes to food. I used to have a deep, deep suspicion when I was younger (erm....30!) about eating anyone's grub but what Mum cooked.

I knew you wouldn't be too surprised.

Jayne went on that JustEat website and ordered a load of veggie Indian food online. Guess who paid? Yes, and as will be seen by later events - in more ways than one.

The scram arrived and apart from the Onion Bhajis, poppadoms and naan bread, I couldn't tell you what else I ate. It was spicy and some form of curry.

Setting aside by aversion for trying anything new, I hungrily woofed down a load of Indian curry and rice that tasted quite, quite splendid!!! So much so that I went back for seconds.

The repeat serving was more heavy-going, but it was an experience and I was glad I took the plunge.

Five hours later, and I've just come from a good 30 minutes on the bog where my poo has altered from "solid" and "hefty", to "watery, brown widdleplop". My favourite.

As much as I liked the food, I think the next time we do it I won't be attacking the palette with the same unbounded vigour as this time just gone.

I still prefer jam butties.....