Day

It's Christmas Day and I'm sitting on the couch at twenty to one in morning having just finishing wrapping up presents that will be noisily unwrapped in a few hours time.

Even though I'm in a better humour about Christmas this year I think I could still happily do without it. It's for the kids, let's be honest. I think as long as they have fun, the rest is pretty much immaterial.

I have to admit I've "enjoyed" the last two Christmas Days on my own. It was just like the old days when I was back at home, and me and our kid just disappeared mid-morning and let our folks get on with whatever they liked and so did we. My Mum and Dad had a truly enlightened attitude about Christmas when I think about it now. They probably didn't realise it, and still don't.

It does stir up emotions about folk who are no longer in our lives for whatever reason. I can't say I miss my Dad any more on Xmas Day than I do any other day, but I was reminded of mortality very poignantly earlier on today on a visit to Thornton Crematorium.

I haven't spoke about this on the blog before, but Aaron is a twin. His brother, Ryan, died in Jayne's womb before he was born. The little lad never took a breath in our world, and is laid to rest in this cemetery.

The four of us went to pay our respects today. I think it had a particularly strong effect on Aaron, seeing his brother's grave. I once said to Aaron I was concerned he was spending too much time on his own, and his reply was quite firm - he never feels alone because Ryan's with him. Which is some reply for a 13-year old.

Jayne's reaction to Ryan's resting place was of a mother who's never given up loving her child. She was quite stoic, but obviously full of emotion. Bethany's liveliness probably belied the fact she never knew her elder brother, but I could tell she really did feel for both Jayne and Aaron.

As we were leaving we had one of these morbid conversations on how we'd like to be buried. My instructions are quite clear - I would like to be cremated (after the doctors have used any parts of me they see fit for other people - the poor buggers) and my remains scattered on the River Mersey in front of the Liver Buildings to the earth-shattering volume of the Who's "Naked Eye" performed live at the 1970 Isle Of Wight Festival.

After all that...erm...Happy Christmas and stuff!