thoughts

I went with Jayne to see Aaron perform, with his school, at the Liverpool Performing Arts Festival. It was held at St.George's Hall - an absolutely magnificent piece of architecture. The Great Hall is Great with brilliant acoustics.

Did you know that St.George's Hall is built the wrong way round? Yes, so did I!

Anyway, the school band were very, very good and I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed myself. Apart from the obviously crap style of music played. The school played something from "Pirates Of The Caribbean", and they alternated with a group of kids playing bone-shudderingly awful jazz - which is even worse than blues rock.

The judge was a non-entity of a man who wouldn't have known good or bad music if it came up and gave him a blow-job. He expected perfection and dexterity beyond the years of these kids, completely missing the point of just being too emotionally involved with the music to care, which is a joyous experience for a child.

Anyway, the Liverpool Performing Arts Festival handed out questionnaires for those attending to fill in. Here's the questions and the answers I thoughtfully offered.......

1. How did you hear about the Festival?

I didn't, I was press-ganged into coming under pain of having my goolies strategically shaved by a sexually-repressed orangutan.

2. Is this the first time you have entered the Festival?

I entered through the front door, yes, but you wouldn't want to know about the Performing Arts I'm interested in.....fascists!

3. Did your family and friends come to watch you perform, if so how many?

No they didn't because they are trapped in modern form of concentration camp called Southport.

4. What area have you travelled from?

Blundellsands via Fazak.

5. What did you like about the Festival?

The main hall was very big, and the toilets were so spotless that just for once in my life I didn't shit on the floor.

6. What do you dislike about the Festival?

The lack of Power Pop. Do you really want kids to grow up emotionally-stunted beyond belief, then blame them??????

7. Have you any suggestions to help us improve the Festival?

Add both the Beatles and the Who to next year's bill. Failing that, I'll happily whack out power-chords with my trusty SG and Hiwatt amp. Get rid of the Simon Cowell-wannabe, and if you really want there to be a Festival in 2012, cut out the bloody jazz because St.George's Hall will be stone ruins otherwise.

Helpful thoughts and hints all round I'm sure you'll agree!!!!