rock

I took my spare DAB radio into work to listen to whilst I sort the stores out. And I had the misfortune to tune into Planet Rock. But, initially, I gave the station a chance to enlighten me for once. True to its' output, Planet Rock disappointed me immensely.

There's a feature called "Quadrophenia" which, alas, has little to do with The Who apart from pinching the title from their seminal album of 1973. This "Quadrophenia" gives the listener the chance to get their four favourite rock tracks played back-to-back.

Great idea....providing you're into Paul Rodgers. Or Free. Or Bad Company. Or The Firm. Or Led Zeppelin. You get the idea.

I know I have the ultimate power with radio - I can switch it off. But the other day, Dave from Barking in Essex slipped off his Hush-Puppies to have me reaching for the sick-bucket as he meandered his lips verbally all the way up Paul Rodgers' anal passage. I thought, "you sad, sick bastard - was your brain reconnected to your dick when you were 42? Has the low-alcohol Spanish lager you sip when you pretend to rock out at gigs made you become all squishy? Have you ever had a single original thought in your entire life???????"

I submitted my choice of tracks to "Quadrophenia" but I tell you - they will never, ever play them.....

Cheap Trick - "Stiff Competition"

The Raspberries - "I Don't Know What I Want"

Nirvana - "Lithium"

The Move - "Do Ya"

There you go. Four three-minute pop anthems crammed full of crunching guitars, catchy melodies with the added-bonus of making one want to smash lot of things up and bring on the Revolution.

The problem with radio - both analogue and digital - in the U.K is it's becoming more marginalised and profit-driven, and less about what people really want! No, I'm sorry - it IS what they want. They want their empty heads to be filled with little more than elevator music in a vain attempt to get them through their day.

Planet Rock started off as a noble idea to offer the public a specialised listening experience. But it very, nearly failed because it was TOO specialised, and the venture lost money and listenership hand over foot. Only a last-minute rescue consortium, including Queen's Brian May, saved Planet Rock from extinction, but in order for the station to survive, it watered down a lot of cutting-edge Rock and Metal, and concentrated on "classic" rock.

"Classic Rock" as a branding is a fallacy. It is an all-encompassing name for tunes people remember that remind them of times in their lives. Which would be fine, but there's a lot of Rock from, say, the 1970s that is as relevant and fresh today as it was back then.

If only the advertisers for Planet Rock had a little nouce. "Rock N'Roll will save the Planet! So let's make the Planet ROCK!"

As long as they keep blues rock and interested parties out of the bloody way!