family

Things could be moving quickly. I say "could" because both me and Jayne want to get it right.

Ooops, nearly forgot, this is about my flat and not anything else....yet!

I hope to be moving into Jayne's officially in the near future. Some of my stuff is already there, so it kind of feels like home already. But neither of us are taking anything for granted. We know what we want to do, both Aaron and Bethany are on board, and we're going to do it right and legitimately (to the best of our abilities) in the shortest time frame possible.

For both of us this is a time for cool heads in the midst of our forthcoming future together.

We get on really, really well. We love each other to bits, we cuddle, kiss, bonk, pull faces and fart. Granted, we can moan like mad at the other, but this happens once in a blue moon now compared to a difficult patch we had over the summer. I stuck it out because I knew that Jayne was good - she still is and a lot more.

There's no triumphalism in what I'm saying. I know there are those out there who are by the wayside now and it'd be the most fantastic world ever if we could all please everyone all the time. Diplomacy has never been my strong point, and I feel I've been badly lacking in the last twelve months. No point saying "Sorry" because I'm just one of these people who never seems to learn.

I'm 40 years old on Saturday and I've spent most of my life basically doing whatever I've wanted to do - without forethought or needing permission to the point sometimes where I've all the tact of a bull in a china shop. But I can't do this any longer. I can't keep on being here just for me. It's just not fair on the few around me and the consequences are enormously negative should I have chosen a lone path. In fact, I'll contradict myself here and say those consequences in my forty years here so far could probably fill up Hell.

I'm not a bad person. I've just spent too much of my life avoiding responsibility.

Jayne says she knew when she met me I was "The One". In me, she's seen so much potential to be good and she's nurtured me into a half-adjusted member of the human race. I've never let someone in that closely. There's no downside to it, and the little changes I've had to make within myself haven't been too taxing. But Jayne encouraged that - sometimes subtlety, and sometimes quite in my face! But it's all been good.

In return, I've hope that I've given both Jayne and the kids a semblance of security and normality in their lives. Just as they give to me.

So after 40 years of trying, I've found "The One" as well. Funny how it happens?

This is why me, Jayne, Aaron and Bethany are all getting together soon. We're a family. And we're gonna make it work.

See you soon in Fazak.