sprog

It's the half-term break, and as well as Jayne and the kids being off, so have I.

In readiness for future times, I've spent the week at Jayne's as a precursor to hopefully moving in sometime in the near future. It's just a gentle toe-in-the-water to see how things go, and it's been good.

We've had no money to speak of and the weather's been very erratic, so the four of us have been mooching around the house. A lot of times this would be a recipe for arguments and bad feelings, but I think we've looked upon this as an opportunity. Because if we all get along like a house on fire when we're cooped up, then we can hopefully get along at any time.

But we did need some kind of day out, and Jayne suggested a trip to Church Farm, which is in Thurstatson, over on the Wirral peninsula. The publicity proclaimed, "fun for all the family" and "stroke a guinea pig". It cost £10 for a family of four, and we were in and out of the place in about 40 minutes. But I took loads of photos.......

Ducks having a bath.

Goats. One is ready to drop its' sprog any day soon.

This guy was having so much fun he nailed himself to a fence.

The "Nightmare Circus". It was shut. Health and Safety.....

Another lost soul.......

Them highland cattle from Croxteth Park get EVERYWHERE!

A sheep.

Geese. Waiting with baited breath for the Christmas table.

Aaron and "Plonker" the pony.

"Derek" the donkey.

"Lazarus" the baby llama.

"Horatio" the hen.

"Parthenon" the pig.

Jayne and Bethany degunge themselves after touching me.

Church Farm was a complete waste of time. I'm sure the best of intentions was meant when advertising the venture. But no bugger was there, everything was shut, and what was going on cost a fortune.

Jayne immediately apologised for her serious short-sightedness at the futility of the trip by buying us all dinner. Yum!!!

digital

About 18 months ago I picked up one of these after-market digital TV receivers.

The timing was perfect because I'd just cancelled my Virgin Media TV contract, yet the wiring was still running through my flat. With the aid of the above box and a simple PC program, I was able to access all of Virgin Media's channels - very illegally and for absolutely nothing.

It was brilliant. All the live footy - free. All the new films - free. All the crap porn - free.

However, Virgin have encoded their network with new software, all the channels are barred, and the telly box is now pretty much useless.

But, boy, has it paid itself off? I think it was £120 new, but the full Virgin package is about £70 a month, so figure it out for yourself.

Anyway, can't complain. Back to Freeview.......

Croxteth

I'm catching up on putting my pictures on my laptop, so last week's trip to Croxteth Park is a little late but worth posting about.

There's so much bad publicity about the word "Croxteth". Sure, it's become synonymous with gang culture but the actual Croxteth Hall and Park are nowhere near the trouble black-spots.

I started my trip there by getting the number 12 bus out to West Derby Village. And it's a village in the truest sense. Just look at the above pic.

The main drive through the estate is so long and straight that it probably passes an international time zone.

And looking back toward West Derby Village.

Are these Highland Yak, or just hairy cows......

Very tame sheep. As long as they think there's food in it for them.

What a gorgeous garden path!

To my delight there was a Walled Garden. That was Walled off from public view.

Croxteth Hall itself.

A lake. With a mini-fountain that was randomly spurting water out. At ducks.

The Iron Bridge. And, believe it or not, that's the River Alt below.

These old nuclear bunkers are a dead giveaway aren't they?

A squirrel. Near the nuclear bunker. Perhaps he/she knows something the rest of us don't?

There's one of these ropewalks adventure playgrounds at Croxteth Hall. It was shut, but the sun was still out.

More water.

If you look carefully there's a 7 1/2" miniature railway track underneath the dead leaves.

And a bridge that's closed off at night to keep the hoodies out. In fact, the whole park's cordoned off to local youth thankfully.

I loved Croxteth Park. I went here with Bethany the other Friday so she could play on swings and stuff, and I promised myself then I'd have to come back for a proper gander. I always thought that it was just the south end of my city that had all the greenery and water features. Now there's somewhere in the east. Just a shame the supposed "posh" north end is so much like a failed housing estate experiment - Crosby.

flummoxed

For anyone over thirty, you might have grown up using one of these......

But I was still flummoxed when both Bethany (aged 10) and Aaron (aged 13) told me that they'd never witnessed an old vinyl record being played on a record player.

So I showed them, and neither were that impressed.

I suppose I shouldn't be too crestfallen. Technology is advancing at an alarming rate. Part of me is just a Luddite when it comes to a recorded music experience.

Don't get me wrong - I've embraced the digital format for all it's worth. But there's still something earthy and REAL about playing the old vinyl. My Beatles collection is proof of that.

splurged

I meant to write about this a few weeks ago, but there was another horrific accident on the main Liverpool to Southport road where somebody died.

As the main A565 road comes out from Crosby, the speed limit on the single carriageway increases to 50mph (it was 60mph but yes, you've guessed it - a car accident with fatalities meant a speed decrease) through Ince Woods, before the road becomes dual carriageway at the national speed limit of 70mph.

About a mile further on a minor road from Hightown joins the main carriageway from the left towards Southport. This is where the latest death occurred. 86-year old man in brand-new Honda Jazz pulls onto the "motorway" and is hit by an oncoming car. Result is old man is instantly killed.

I'm not trying to demean his poor bloke's passing, but if you're familiar with this particular junction, you won't be surprised at another death at this dangerous hot-spot. and it's likely you've had / or have seen a near miss here. I know I have.

The thing about the "Formby By-Pass" (as it's locally known) is it brings out the worst in drivers, sorry to say me included sometimes. Because when you've been driving the 8 miles from Liverpool all the way through Bootle, Waterloo, Crosby and Thornton encountering traffic lights after traffic lights and all manner of queues, it's a relief to put your foot down for a change.

Unfortunately, it can sometimes have devastating consequences.

There's little point reducing the speed limit because I doubt anyone would take much notice. And a 40 or 50 mph limit would do little to stop another mad accident occurring at this spot.

Traffic lights? Not feasible. The flow of traffic would be severely disrupted. And for a few cars every hour wanting to use the junction, it's just not fair to everybody else.

The best way to deal with this problem is to block the junction off completely, and divert all the traffic from Hightown through the main junction at Ince Blundell. It's best to be safe than splurged.....

soup

Me and Aaron went to see Bowling For Soup at the O2 Academy in town last night.

The O2 Academy is next door to the Lord Nelson Hotel on Hotham Street, across the road from Lime Street Station. Back in 1968, after a Who/Small Faces show (what a gig to be at!!!) at the Liverpool Empire, a young Keith Moon found, to his eccentric pride and joy, a drinker at the Lord Nelson Hotel who could both smoke and play a harmonica at the same time. Thankfully Moon didn't smash up the hotel on that occasion.

Anyway, I digress. Bowling For Soup are a much-touted Pop Punk fourpiece from Texas. Aaron absolutely loves them.

I found the band tiresome, unoriginal, generic and totally without any respect for this city. I mean - we gave the world the Beatles, and this is a by-product......

Understandably, the kids lapped it up. Maybe one day they'll wake up and smell the coffee......

stinks

I'm sure this pair of clowns had plenty to laugh about after the biggest slashing on public spending in over 70 years.

The thing is, the Tories (ably assisted by the parasitic Nick Clegg) would gone to the cleaners on State funding even if this country had the strongest economy in the world. This "comprehensive spending review" had bog-all to do with the previous Labour administration - though the Conservatives have been at pains to put the blame on them at every opportunity. If Labour overspent, it was for the good of the country during the "world financial crisis".

Cutting public spending is Conservative ideology - remember that!

What Labour did wrong was bailing the banks out wholesale, rather than shoring up peoples' mortgages and savings on an individual basis. By leaving the banks on a sound monetary footing, the Government gave them permission to carry on fiddling hard-working peoples' livelihoods. Nothing changed. The banks were still deregulated - accountable to no one but themselves. Even those institutions taken into State ownership, their "bosses" roundly slapped each other on the back and gave themselves another huge cash bonus - all at the taxpayers' expense.

It all stinks. The answer to this mess is to abolish money - at least in the form we currently know it. Then everyone would be on an equal footing. The problem then would be keeping it that way. And I haven't a solution to that.....yet!!!

royalties

As everyone and his/her dog knows, I'm a Beatles fan. In fact, if it was warranted, I'd probably easily pass a Masters degree in Beatleology. It's that simple. For me. So. I. Say.

So I'm more than a little annoyed that the band have decided re-release FOR A THIRD TIME the "1962-1966" / "1967-1970" compilation albums.

The music on these albums is timeless, I can't complain about that at all. But these collections were originally released on superior vinyl back in 1973. Then they were "digitally-remastered" for CD release in 1993. And now, 17 years later, they've been "digitally-remastered" again to further the Beatles already huge bank balance.

In fairness to the Fabs, there is some method to their madness in that by 2012 the fifty-year restriction on their UK copyrights becomes redundant, meaning that both the songs "Love Me Do" and "PS I Love You" come under public domain which will deny the band their songwriting royalties. In 2013 this ruling extends to "She Loves You" and "I Want To Hold Your Hand". And so on......

I do take Paul McCartney's point in that he wrote "Yesterday" completely on his own and yet is pissed off he only receives 15% of the songwriting royalty payment on it - so it's unfair in that respect. The contracts the Beatles signed in the early 1960s are still in force today.

So expect more Beatles activity in the next year. I know Paul, Ringo, Yoko and Olivia have to save a little for their pensions but this is ridiculous......

insulting

Getting beat in the Derby isn't the end of the world. Neither is sitting second-bottom in the League. But the shoddy manner in which we conceded defeat to the Shite is not only two pickles short of a jar, but an affray to the integrity of Liverpool Football Club.

Everton well deserved their win. 2-0 flatters us.

Hodgson must go. There's no other way around it. It's nothing personal. He's achieved success elsewhere, and fair play to him for that. But he won't do anything meaningful here.

His assertion that this was the best Liverpool have played this season was downright insulting. If, by letting the opposition beat the crap out of us for 75 minutes, that is his road to good results then may God help us. My club must've been bad bastards in previous lives to get to this awful level.

Neither am I being personal to Lucas Levia, but he pretty much sums up everything that is bad about us at the moment. No fight, no skill, no heart, no soul, no desire. Similar mentions for the equally inept Paul Konchesky and clueless Joe Cole.

In a way, I'm glad this kind of result happened with both John Henry and Tom Werner looking on because it shows them the job they've taken on. I bet they kind of wish they'd kept their £300 million after watching this bollocks at close quarters?

Our next game is against Blackburn and I'm of the belief we'll go into this match with the same lacklustre and lackadaisical attitude that's been so prevalent in recent games. I'm also of the mind that both Christian Poulson and Lucas Levia will both start in central midfield, rather than the much more potent Steven Gerrard and Raul Morelies.

And, for shit's sake, give the isolated and crestfallen Fernando Torres some attacking support. Neither the headless chicken antics of both Babel or N'Gog, but a proper run-out for the hugely-talented Danny Pacheco.

Put Martin Kelly at right-back, and switch Carra over to the left in the absence of Agger and Aurelio. Glen Johnson is a liability at the moment.

I don't care if we lose every game forever from now on, but as long as they play for the shirt and show some gumption I can't complain. But we don't want to see many photographs like the one below too often from now on do we?

first

Henry and Werner's first day at Melwood.......

JOHN HENRY - "Who's that guy over there, falling over the ball?"

ROY HODGSON - "Oh don't worry, Mr Owner Sir, that's Ryan Babel. He'll be gone for £12 million to some sucker in January."

new

Thank god this MADNESS is over, and our new owner John Henry and his set up, New England Sports Ventures, have ousted the hated and misguided Hicks and Gillett.

This whole sorry business - a most un-Liverpool way of doing things - meant all our dirty washing was out in public view. I'm sure it gave some other supposed-football supporters a good laugh, but mostly I believe this has been a wake-up call for English football.

The ramifications of the sale of LFC could be enormous? There's our friends at Manchester United - £600 million in debt to their lenders. Who's to say these financial muscle-men won't have looked at the Liverpool situation and decide to call in the debt from the Glazers? It's a frightening prospect. I predicted a few months ago that either us or them would fall spectacularly from grace. We nearly have.

Mr Henry has been given a warm, yet cautious, welcome by our club. There's a story knocking around that he arrived at Anfield unannounced this morning, wanting to take a look around the pitch. He was refused entry by the security guard as he didn't know who this guy was. I think John took it in his stride? But then, in a city like Liverpool, your reputation means absolutely nothing at the best of times.

He has been very careful with his words too. No doubt, he knows, that his every utterance will be scrutinised by fans and media with magnifying glasses. Henry's already said that a ground-share isn't a feasible option at this moment - something Hicks and Gillett also promoted - but I felt a little easier with his words than theirs.

Speaking of Tom Hicks, his interview on Sky after the sale was fairly pathetic. His only grain of truth was Rafa bought crap players. Luckily for Hicks, his claim of £170 million in transfer funds didn't come from his or Gillett's pockets - it was RBS. It could be said that Rafa's best signings (Alonso, Garcia, Torres, Reina, Crouch) all came under Moores' stewardship, which makes one wonder what went on as the club changed hands.

I have it on good authority that Rafa never saw, beforehand, most of the players signed after the Yanks took over - most of the shite came on a scout's recommendation.

So we're part of NESV now. Both Liverpool and Boston are similar Irish-influenced places, and if the positive changes that happened for Red Sox can be transferred to here also. I'll be a very happy lad.

But it's like I said the other day. I just want an owner to look after us.

Liverpool FC Waterloo YNWA JTF96

engaged

Me and Jayne got engaged tonight.

I'd been planning it for a couple of weeks and I was quite nervous, but I popped the question to her, down on one knee like you're supposed to. The ring I got her doesn't quite fit, so I have to go and change it tomorrow - typical! By 10am!!!!!

We're very happy about it. It feels right, coming on from a lot of stressful times too personal for the blog. Jayne's a lot better in herself and so am I.

It's not the first time I've been here. A month after I moved to Ireland back in 2001, me and Lin got engaged. Looking back on it now, I think I did it more to show the world I didn't need their permission or approval to do anything I liked. We took it seriously for a while though, but it was never gonna work out with both of us pulling in different directions. Sad, but inevitable.

Back to the present and I feel the same as I said the other day - I'm not taking me and Jayne for granted. We still have a lot to work through before we set a wedding date. This is a start, a commitment to strive for something very special.

For a kick-off, Jayne needs to GET HER HAIR CUT!!!!!!!!!!

She will, one day, most likely when she feels like it lol........

passes

GRIPE ALERT no.34,431 - SECURITY PASSES THAT A PERSON WEARS ROUND THEIR NECK!!!!!!!

Are you Westernised? Do you have to dress "up" for work? Do you consider yourself a middle-income earner with a pension plan in place? Do you work for the Civil Service and therefore think you're one up on the rest of us? Does the illusionary power and superior attitude that comes with the job go to your head? Do you think you're set for life? Have either you or your partner both got 07-plate (onwards) Ford cars with a sat-nav on constant scan?

Last but not least, do you wear one of these bastard security passes around your neck, as if to say, in your obnoxious wannabe middle-class accent, "I work for the Government and I don't give a shit about anyone else but me!"?

If you answered "yes" to one or more of these questions, then it's very likely that you are MENTALLY-RETARDED AND CLINICALLY DEAD!

I'm glad I've got that off my chest.

chair

Due to space restrictions at Jayne's, I've commandeered her super-duper computer desk chair with the cushioned armrests and taken it into work.

As you, dear reader, can imagine, Ron, Ian and Mandy were (IRONY ALERT!) jealous as hell at my acquisition. With Ron being on holiday next week, Andy assumes the boss's chair - known as "The Throne" - but may swap Ron's leather chair with his own?

Stay tuned!

vindicated

Common sense prevailed as the decision to sell Liverpool Football Club to NESV was legally vindicated by the UK Courts today.

Broughton, Purslow and Ayre have saved us from this nightmare......I hope?

It seems Hicks and Gillett have gone to a Texas court to try for an injunction against the sale, claiming up to $1 billion dollars compensation for their inconvenience.

What is it with these two and MONEY?????????

My club is beyond money. I don't care that NESV haven't the mega-millions to put us in the same spending bracket as Chelsea or City. I just want a wise owner to look after Liverpool FC. It's not much to ask is it?

kids

One of the things in the past year I've actually been pleased with myself about is largely putting to bed any pre-conceived ideas about any unfamiliar situations I've found myself in. In layman's terms, my unsociable side is mostly a sham, and has more to do with not wanting to be arsed than any genuine fear about people.

I can still give or take the human race. But I wish I'd come to this set of circumstances years ago, rather than when I'm a month off my 40th birthday!

Still better late than never, as the saying goes.

I'm using this preamble as a way to how I'm getting along with Jayne, Aaron and Bethany. With me and Jayne, we're pulling together a lot better than we ever have. Each of us can still be a monumental pain in the bum to the other, but we don't rest on our laurels or take each other for granted. Another lesson learned......

With Aaron and Bethany, I've gotten along with them more harmoniously than I could ever have imagined. Both me and Jayne have said that our relationship would be a no-goer if I didn't get along with the either (or both) of the kids, or they with me. It's a well-worn line, but it's true, I haven't just taken on Jayne, I've taken the kids as well - they're a package.

Aaron and Bethany look to me as "Dad".

It's not something I've tried to be. I never wanted to be "Dad". But for all intents and purposes, that's what I am. In their eyes, I do the Dad-things they've missed out on in recent times.

The reasons behind Aaron and Bethany's "relationship" with their father is beyond the remit of this blog. Suffice to say, I personally wish that they could have a relationship with their Dad but it's just not possible at this moment.

I guess I'm just in the right place at the right time and do Dad-things with them without really recognising the significance of what I'm doing. Parenting is something I'm coming to at a relatively advanced age! I feel that Jayne, her folks and to a lesser extent their own father have done all the groundwork with Aaron and Bethany, and I consider myself an interloper in a way!

I wasn't expecting to become part of a "ready-made" family, but that's a loose way of describing my current take on life.

I think back to how I got along my old fella, and try to put those sort of memories into good use with both Aaron and Bethany. Earlier on, Aaron asked me am I anything like my Dad? And aside from the obvious looks-department, there's one or twenty other things I've picked on!

I'll keep y'all informed.

Pat

Sad to report that our neighbour from Milton Road, Pat Hood, has died.

She's on the far right of this photo, sitting next to Mum.

Pat hadn't been well for a long time and, I hate to admit it, I'd only been up to see her once after I'd left the street. Mum was a regular visitor right until the end. Her and Pat had been the best of mates since we moved into Milton Road back in March 1970.

I went up Milton Road the other day, and it's so strange. I can't put my finger on it, but it feels so bare and lifeless and empty. All the folk we knew growing up are slowly, but surely, meeting their maker. Maybe that's why I sense the street's like an empty vessel now?

But Pat taught me how to tie my shoelaces. See, I learned something after all!

RIP Pat. Thanks for keeping an eye on us over the years xxx

lennon

Okay, I'm half an hour late, but Lennon would've been 70 today.

Huge part of my life are the Beatles. A world without them seems inconceivable. I hate to say it, but the Beatles were a partnership of two men - John Lennon and Paul McCartney. George and Ringo were mere side-men in comparison.

I was hugely into Lennon, but time has been kind to McCartney and I'm a certified Paul fan now. Of the two of them he was definitely the edgy one, regardless of the way the "serious" rock press have tried to rewrite history in the past 30 years.

Lennon's held up as some kind of saint - which he may have been in small doses? His reputation in Liverpool reverberates through time - there are folk here who still despise him and his mouth.

Conversely, Paul's spent the last three decades trying to convince the media that what he does is worthwhile. He's produced some wonderful work - the best of it as a reaction to the supposed greatness of Lennon. But why should he have had to torture himself so much?

Some commentators wish Paul had died on 8th December 1980. How sick is that?

"Strawberry Fields Forever" is compelling evidence as to Lennon's genius, but I think his later work is so over-rated it's unreal. I wish people would give themselves a little distance when discussing Woolton's Finest......

universe

In an alternate universe, this sort of thing will be going on.

Oddly enough, I've stayed in Radstock before. It's an ex-coal mining town south of Bristol. Me and Jo stayed there on a short holiday a year or two back and very nice it was as well!

rid

Things have moved very quickly at Anfield over the last 48 hours.

But it's fantastic to see Broughton, Ayres and the much-maligned Purslow outvote the Yanks in accepting the Henry bid. For months, the senior management of Liverpool Football Club have been described as puppets of Hicks and Gillett, yet they've come through on the Club's side, ON THE FANS SIDE, taking a massive step in getting rid of this pair of thieving bastards.

Broughton, in particular, has played an absolute blinder. Legally, regardless of the hot air and odd decisions coming from Tom Hicks, our chairman has binding covenants that will not only see the law stay on our side, but leave the soon-to-be-ex-owners penniless.

Purslow, so often derided as a mouthpiece of the Americans, was instrumental in getting rid of Benitez and, as his actions of the past few days have shown, is more up to the Chief Executive job than the spineless Rick Parry ever was.

Not much is known about Ian Ayre. It's true his expanded commercialisation of our club has brought much-needed money to help repay RBS - whether any of that cash actually went to the bank is another matter. But he voted through the NESV offer, and must be given credit.

My worry isn't whether the new owners are American - that's irrelevant. Neither am I that concerned they haven't got the mega-billions to fund huge transfer fees. My big fear is another owner will saddle the club with more debt, or new debt if the old one's paid off.

Hicks' reaction to this situation is becoming increasingly angrier, erratic and dangerous. He knows he won't get his big pay-off. He knows that Broughton has got the best deal for the club. He knows that the RBS will call in the £240 million loan next Friday. He also knows he hasn't the authority to replace both Purslow and Ayres on the Liverpool board.

What he can do is delay the inevitable, the best he can swindle (or worst from our point of view!) is force the club into administration.

At this stage of the season, I'd take administration. I'd happily forfeit nine league points to rid my club of this pair of arseholes.

A commentator tonight bracketed Liverpool as a world wide brand, part of an exclusive club containing United, Real Madrid and Barcelona. Well, I don't agree. There's Liverpool Football Club and everyone else.

Now about them Boston Red Sox and Fenway Park.........

walk

I can't walk away either. Liverpool FC Waterloo. YNWA. JFT96

potent

So many potent and life-fulfilling albums......

job

It was announced today that, locally, 120 job adviser positions are to be slashed at the Department Of Work and Pensions' "Job Centre Plus" centres. Numbers will be cut by the end of the year.

This will create the unusual position of unemployed job advisers being advised for jobs by the job advisers left behind.

Just for once, I entirely agree with the cuts the ConDems are making. These job advisers are the smuggest shower of bastards I've ever had the misfortune to come across. They had no interest in me, my skills, or what I wanted to do. I was just a national insurance number to them - a statistic for the DWP to juggle with when announcing unemployment figures to a Government minister.

I'm all for the Government providing everyone with a cushy, quango job, but the recipient should at least take some interest in the lives of the people they're serving and helping. They are not God. Some think they have the power of a God over folks' circumstances, but they're hopelessly, hopelessly wrong. And ignorant.

Well, some of them will be on the receiving end soon. Justice will be served.

wirral

Determined not to take the piss at this year's Wirral Bus and Tram Show, here are a few of the highlights of the vehicles on show.

MTL 1070 (B926KWM), a 1984 Alexander AL-bodied Leyland Atlantean AN68D/1R

ARRIVA NORTH WEST 8201 (L301TEM), a 1994 Alexander Strider-bodied Volvo B10B-58

ARRIVA NORTH WEST 3283 (N283CKB), a 1995 Northern Counties Palatine-bodied Volvo Olympian YN2RV

JOHN FISHWICK 23 (GRN895W), a 1980 Eastern Coach Works-bodied Leyland Atlantean AN68 (was the sole AN69)/1R

MTL 1055 (A135HLV), a 1984 Alexander AL-bodied Leyland Atlantean AN68D/1R

PEOPLESBUS 0811 (L80BUS), a 2002 Alexander ALX400-bodied Dennis Trident.

STAGECOACH MERSEYSIDE 47712 (MX05MKL), a 2005 Optare-bodied Optare Solo.

Like most of the bus rallies I've recently reported on, this was much the same than the previous years' offerings. That's not a problem for anybody but a narky enthusiast like me who remembers these gatherings like the plague. The weather was fairly dreadful, and I don't think there were the legions of people attending as in the past. But you can't knock the hard work that goes into the organisation of events like this. It requires a lot of selfless endeavour by nameless volunteers, without whose efforts, the Wirral Bus and Tram Show would never take place.

reunion

A friend on Facebook invited me to join in a school reunion for my year at Chezzy. It's taking place at the end of the month at an establishment not 50 yards from my humble abode.

I'm not going. Regular readers of this blog will know my feelings towards school.

I suggested to Jayne that she go in place of me and say I've had a sex change. This was a wonderful idea, and one that Jayne smiled at, but politely declined.

My loss, I suppose? It would've been fun telling all my former school-mates how fantastic it is being chairperson of ICI, with a holiday yacht in the Bahamas called "Titanic".

Jayne and Bethany came up to mine this afternoon. After spending £39 in the rebranded Co-Op in Waterloo, what seems like my first big-shop for months, we came back here, where Bethany gleefully dressed me as a sumo-wrestler. I couldn't complain, I have the belly after all!